“Kill me.” His eyes didn’t even look green as the shadows blotted out any light he had. He knew I was here. Rogue knew I wasn’t going to help him. “Do not leave me here alive, Cyran.” Adriem’s racing heartbeat was growing louder in thought and I knew I was beginning to fade in this time.
“I love you, Rogue.” It was hard to keep my gaze on him as his struggles began again. “I’m going to see you soon. You are going to be okay.” I wasn’t sure how many more days it would be before Adriem, Dev, and my father made it onto Achilla’s ship to rescue Rogue, but I knew how agonizing every waiting minute would be for Rogue. I took a step backwards and away from him, it was time to go. There wasn’t anything I could do. I wasn’t really here…
“I don’t want to be okay,” Rogue mumbled and a shiver ran across his features as his eyes fluttered close. “I’m not scared to die,” his pain was so exposed in his low voice. “I’m afraid of this. I’m afraid of living. Don’t leave me here alive.” The shadowed eyes drifted back to me and the pull that was dragging me away from Rogue was getting harder to fight.
“I have to go…I-”
“I want you to just choose me…” Rogue’s stare on me was fading as he surrendered to all of his hurt. “Choose me this one time…help me.” He looked as though he were peering directly through me, the greens murky and lost. If I could help you right now…I would choose you, Rogue. I would help you. “Kill me.” It didn’t seem as though he could see me any longer…I glanced down at my hands and saw what Rogue saw, just a whisper of me. A fading spector that wasn’t real.
“Do you want me to kill him?” Gawen’s voice seemed far away, much softer than Adriem’s heartbeat that was so profound in my thoughts. He stood behind Rogue and out of sight, the lights from the blinking holographic monitors intensifying his fiery red hair.
“No,” I forced my voice into this past as time began to drag me forward.
“Let him.” Rogue allowed his eyes to fully close and his body began to ease into the safety of sleep. “It’s okay to change things,” he mumbled, his head lolling on his chest as small tributaries of blood channeled down his body.
“Rogue will live,” I gritted my teeth and glared at Gawen. “And I will honor our agreement when we meet again.” I was so soft, my words so translucent. Did he hear me?
“Only time will tell, little goddess.” Gawen laughed slightly and turned away from Rogue. There was no more time here.
I am getting closer & closer to finishing book two and there are so many emotional moments sometimes I find it hard not to get lost during my normal day.